


Still Into You

by tumble4rpdr



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:41:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21926113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tumble4rpdr/pseuds/tumble4rpdr
Summary: “You the only dancer that should be in my life. And somehow I think the universe be telling us that too. How else you think we keep bumping back into each other and ain’t never seem to cut the cord?”Based on recent Brooke and Vanjie goings on, Brock calls Jose to explain what happened at her show while Jose makes a few confessions.
Relationships: Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo
Comments: 5
Kudos: 55





	Still Into You

**Author's Note:**

> I know I should be working on the final chapter of Rose Tint My World but I got distracted by another one-shot (I blame them for always giving us new stuff to write about). The idea for this came from what’s been going on with Vanjie and David and what Brooke said about Vanjie at her show. I’ll be the first to admit that it’s similar to my last one-shot (our boys love FaceTime calls) and somehow there’s a little Christmas in there too (don’t ask me how that happened). As always, a huge thank you to whoever reads this and an even bigger thank you to those who leave a comment-I am forever appreciative for all the support and encouragement my writing receives💜

Jose looked at himself in the mirror as he was getting ready to go out to the club. He took in his reflection; slicked back hair glistening with gel, newly grown in scruff that made him look older and tougher than he felt, perfectly white teeth that could be seen if he was in the mood to smile. His gold chain hung heavy on his neck, seeming to weigh him down as much as his pessimistic mood which lately had become more frequent. His fingers still itched to add another piece around his neck, the one he kept in a separate box hidden away since the finale, the gift that proved that at one time someone was his and he was happily someone’s.

By now he couldn’t remember if the outing had been Silky’s idea or his, all he knew was he needed to go out, needed to forget or maybe to remember. The pounding bass of some outdated techno song would replace his longing for a lover’s heartbeat. His yearning to be held met by the brief accidental caresses of overheated, disinterested bodies. The lights and cramped dance floor making sweat pool at his forehead and drip into his eyes and down his cheeks, like a baptism rebirthing him free from the failings and burdens of boyfriends past.

He rubbed his hand over his eyes and took a deep frustrated breath, trying to ready himself for the evening. As he moved to turn out the light and leave the bathroom, his phone sounded from its place atop the marble countertop. Though he had been trying to avoid his phone for much of the day, the distinct sound of a FaceTime call like a siren song, making him reach for it more quickly than he’d like to admit. There on the screen the name of the person whose call he wasn’t necessarily expecting, but was certainly hoping for: **Brock** **🧡🦶🏻😽**

Jose shook his head with a wry smirk and let out an almost disbelieving chuckle. Brock always seemed to unknowingly contact him when he was really going through it, though recently when was he not? He was surprised that Brock was calling him at such a reasonable time, his night having not even begun. Jose then remembered that he was somewhere in Europe, meaning that for him, it was likely very late or very early, depending on the day. Jose checked his reflection one more time before bracing himself and clicking accept.

Brock’s cute, tired face filled his phone screen and made his breath catch, though Jose quickly cleared his throat to try and hide it. Brock’s tender gaze and kind smile, like warm honey-sweetened tea refilling Jose’s empty heart, even after all this time. He mentally chastised himself as he remembered how being this weak for a boy, especially a boy who didn’t want him, was dangerous in more ways than one. He shook his feelings off and did his best to force his smile to look like that of a friend’s, just a friend’s.

“What up bitch? What you do this time?” Jose asked only half jokingly.

“How dare you, I’m lovely,” Brock answered in mock offense before his smile crept back onto his face. Jose gave him an incredulous stare that made him laugh. “I just wanted to tell you that Branjie,” Brock looked down slightly regretfully. “Well, um, actually _you_ more specifically, came up in my show tonight.”

“That it?” Jose questioned, feeling a little relieved though more disappointed. “Why you calling me for then? We both know them stans and they thirsty asses be waiting to get they noses all up in our business. Shit, I gave ‘em a long ass q&a ‘bout it too and them kids still want more? Pfff, ungrateful, that’s what that is,” Jose gave Brock a knowing smile and saw some of the tension in Brock’s shoulders loosen up. “For real though, that why you calling me?”

“It’s just, you gave me a head’s up that I was going to be in parts of _your_ show. Then I promised you that you wouldn’t be in mine and that I wouldn’t say anything,” Brock’s face took on that ashamed look again.

“And lemme guess, your ass said something?” Jose said accusingly though trying to suppress his grin. He knew he shouldn’t but he couldn’t help but feel at least a little pleased that Brock talked about him at his show, especially after the multiple mentions and near constant avalanche of Brooke and Branjie questions he had to endure during his own performances.

“Maybe,” Brock replied looking away but giving Jose an embarrassed smile.

“Alright boo, lets hear it,” Jose replied, the pet name falling easily from his lips as he tried to make Brock feel better and keep that dopey grin on his face.

“I didn’t say anything bad necessarily,” Brock began.

“Mmm-hmmm,” Jose hummed skeptically.

“I asked if they came out to see you and thanked them for supporting you. They pointed out how there were parts about me in your show and I said I was flattered, which I _am_ in all honesty,” Brock admitted as his gaze turned serious while his cheeks took on a faint blush. “But then there was this fan who thought that you _clearly_ weren’t over me because of how many times I was mentioned. And I didn’t really know how to respond to that so, I was joking around and um, I _might_ have implied that, uh, I dickmatized you into writing a whole show about me.”

When he finished his recap, Jose could see that Brock’s cheeks were now a much darker pink and his face and pursed lips gave the impression that he was bracing for impact.

Jose blushed just as strongly and his face grew hot. Feelings of shame and embarrassment coursed through his body like blood heading right for his heart. If even the audience felt they could clock some lingering feelings, Jose worried how he must appear to everyone else.

He let out a discouraged sigh, “We know she ain’t the only one believing that shit.”

“The dickmatizing part or the still being into me part?” Brock asked as sincerely as possible.

“Bitch, they one in the same,” Jose snapped back before reeling in his frustration at the sight of Brock’s startled face. “But yeah,” Jose continued softly. “I think that opinion’s more common then you think. Fuck, I got, I know that there be other people who be thinking the same thing. And those people ain’t gonna wanna be getting with nobody they think still be hung up on they ex.”

At that admission, Brock’s face fell. “What’s going on Papi?” Brock wondered, his voice laced with concern. “You and that dancer hit a rough patch?”

Jose huffed out a disbelieving breath and smirked despite himself. “Ho, how it even possible that even when you stressing over me you still shady as fuck?”

“I didn’t mean to be,” Brock replied earnestly, though now sporting a smile mirroring Jose’s. “I mean, if I _wanted_ to be shady I could’ve said that what tipped me off was you posting and deleting Rihanna memes that had nothing to do with me for once,” he teased.

“Oh, look who got jokes all of a sudden,” Jose exclaimed still grinning, any annoyance he might have felt tempered by the look of mischievous pride in Brock’s eyes.

“But seriously, what happened? You two seemed fine and then he just started posting-“

“Wait, wait, wait, hold up. How you be knowing we was fine and dandy and telling me what he be posting? You checking up on now?” Jose accused, unsure of whether to be flattered or angry.

“If it makes you feel any better, I can’t look at his posts anymore since he unfollowed me,” Brock reasoned.

“What the fuck was you doing following him in the first place?”

“Well, he had been following me for a while already, and then he seemed to be working so well with you that I thought it was time I gave him a follow back,” Brock weakly explained.

“At the exact time I started cozying up to him? I ain’t so sure I’m buying this boo,” Jose pressed, eager to find out more. The thought of Brock wanting to keep up with his life awoke all the butterflies in his stomach that had been asleep since their last FaceTime call. It was nice to know he wasn’t the only one.

“He was wrong, you know,” Brock muttered.

“Wrong about what?”

“When you care about someone, you’re in it with your entire heart, Jose,” Brock professed knowingly. “You’ll do whatever you can to love that person and show them they’re loved and try to preserve it for a long as you can. Believe me when I tell you that when _you’re_ with someone, there’s no possible way they can feel anything less than cherished. You certainly don’t treat them like just another _option_.”

Brock’s words were like a soothing balm over all his old wounds that had yet to heal. Jose felt himself once again getting caught up in Brock, the man always making it too easy for him to fall, and he had to try his hardest to keep his guard up.

“That a whole lotta lovey-dovey shit to come outta an ex,” Jose warned Brock bitterly to which Brock looked away in shame and remorse.

“Why it always gotta be so hard with everybody?” Jose thought aloud. “There was never all this drama when we was together. With you it was just easy,” he shyly admitted.

“I don’t think so big guy,” Brock corrected, giving Jose a small rueful smile. “Our feelings for each other might’ve been easy but everything else got in the way. I can remember plenty of fights and drama coming out of our relationship too. Which again I’m sorry for by the way,” he softly confessed.

“Ain’t nothing to be sorry ‘bout no more toes,” Jose affirmed while gently shaking his head, another pet name finding its way out of his mouth. “And don’t you be thinking that it all on you. It mightta taken me a while but don’t think I don’t know I brought a whole heaping helping of that drama right to us.”

“If you know about all our problems then how could you ever think our relationship was easy?” Brock asked Jose, though he seemed to be questioning himself too.

“You think we the only ones? Bitch every relationship gots problems,” Jose began. “But at least with you it felt good, even when we was fighting it was okay cause it was with you. And bitch, when we was working, we was _working_. We had more fucking chemistry than Bill that science guy.”

Though Brock was still feeling hesitant, he couldn’t control his laughter at that. He felt his face erupt in a bright, joyful smile, one he knew only Jose could put there.

“You _were_ my first boyfriend after all,” Brock playfully reminded Jose who was now smiling too. “I knew there had to be a reason.”

“Then why’d we stop?” Jose blurted out then quickly brought his hands to cover his mouth, almost in an attempt to take back what he said.

“What?” Brock questioned clearly taken aback. Though his expression looked startled, Jose could also see sparks of intrigue and dare he say hope in Brock’s eyes, compelling him to swallow his pride and push forward.

“We both seem to want it so why is it over?” Jose challenged.

“Because, um, because,” Brock stuttered and gulped. “We agreed that this was what was best. We both had so much to work on and we still do and I just don’t want this, well of course I _want_ this, but I, I just don’t want to see us fail again.”

Hearing Brock’s confession was all Jose needed. His reassurance like a match that slowly incinerated Jose’s gnawing doubts while illuminating the darkness that clouded his mind. They wanted each other, and Jose wasn’t going to stop until it happened.

“We getting better, you know we are, but we obviously what’s best for each other. Not me with no college trade and you with no naked ass zoo keeper,” Jose said with conviction, undeterred by the surprised look in Brock’s eyes at the mention of Seth. “You the only dancer that should be in my life. And somehow I think the universe be telling us that too. How else you think we keep bumping back into each other and ain’t never seem to cut the cord?”

Brock gazed at Jose and bit his lip as though he was thinking, as if the reality of his words was truly hitting him for the first time.

“Maybe shit don’t work out cause it ain’t supposed to,” Jose softly asserted, confiding in Brock what his mind kept telling him after all the failed relationships that followed. “Maybe I’m the best version of me when I’m with you.”

“I think I like that version too,” Brock admitted. “Mainly because it’s the one where you’re with me.”

At Brock’s confession, Jose released a small gasp as his eyes began to water and his lips formed as big a smile as his crying face would allow. Brock let out a relieved laugh as if basking in Jose’s happiness and the joy of finally admitting his truth to Jose and to himself.

“So what do we do now?” Jose asked as he wiped his eyes.

“I’m off for a few days around Christmas,” Brock offered with hopeful anticipation. “I thought it was just going to be me, Henry, and Apollo for Christmas but maybe if you wanted to-”

“You want me to spend the holidays with you?” Jose interrupted tearfully.

“Only if you want to of course,” Brock replied. “And _I_ certainly want you there,” he added.

“Of course boo,” Jose delightfully called out. “Tell them kitties I’ll be seeing them real soon.”

“We’re looking forward to it,” Brock said with a grin. “All of it.”


End file.
